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Friday, January 11, 2013

Goat Mythbusting

Myth #1: Goats will eat anything.

 I don't know how this untruth could have gotten started. Anything? Really? Well maybe not everything. Goats have funny eating preferences.

 The facts (according to my goats, your mileage may vary) are:

 1. Do not expect me to eat anything that's GOOD for my health (you know- minerals) until after I've had the chance to show my displeasure by pooping on it in the special container you hand screwed into my shed while I was trying to get you to scratch my neck. And don't think I'm going to be fooled by the not-so-subtle trick you have of spraying a little oil on my pellets and sticking the offending minerals to them. Nope. Uh-uh, you must, MUST put it in your hand and coyly act like you don't want me to eat it. Then if I'm in the mood, and the planets are lined up right, then I will eat your minerals.

2. You may definitely expect me to eat every plastic WalMart bag that flies into my pen. And make sure you double check the hay flakes for Capri Sun packets and cigarette packages. Those are at the top of my gourmet treat list. Can we get rid of the fines for highway littering? I'll start a petition, you call the governor.

3. Most certainly warn your guests about walking past our pen with any kind of delicacy that isn't meant to be shared. Because we will. want. a. taste. Is that a latte? Hmm? Vanilla maybe??